You ever been in a conversation and you just blank and run out of things to talk about?
You can usually feel the awkward silence coming on too – 3, 2, 1 anddddd awkward silence…
I used to be very socially awkward in the past. A lot of my conversations were boring, super logistical and just not fun.
When I started freestyle rapping (unprepared, off-the-top-of-the-head freestyles) daily a few years back, it helped boost my conversational skills immensely.
I started having a lot more interesting and fun conversations.
I realised recently that every conversation is like a freestyle song you’re making with another person – you’re creating a flow of ideas between you on the spot.
Here are 3 things I’ve learned from freestyle rapping that can help you become better at conversation.
1) Cook With What They’re Giving You
The best freestyles happen when you build off what the last person said. It’s the same with conversations.
Paying attention, listening and using what the other person is giving you to inspire what you’re going to say will create much more meaningful discourse.
You can make magic happen when both people are in tune and bouncing off each other.
Zias and B-Lou are two guys who have great chemistry and they take ideas and energy from each other that builds into something super infectious.
Don’t focus on what you’re going to say next, but stay present with the other person, and really listen to them, so you have a lot of material to cook with when it’s your turn to go.
If you can always link back to what the other person said, it shows them you’ve been paying attention, and you’re building on what they said.
When you’re next speaking to someone, always think about how you can cook with and build on what they’ve just given you.
Technique 1: Mirror!
When freestyling, to cook with what the other person is giving you, the most common way is to take their rhyme scheme and carry it forward.
Another common way is to just mirror what they just said.
Mirroring is a super powerful tool you can use to build a connection with someone.
- Mirroring – repeating the key 1-3 words someone said (usually the last 1-3 words).
Mirrors make the other person feel heard.
In freestyle rap, mirroring is just to give you a bit more time to think, but it also signals that you’re actively trying to cook with the last thing the other person said.
In conversation, mirrors get the other person to elaborate and expand on what they just said. Mirrors basically say to the other person: “I heard everything you said word for word (look I just repeated some of it back to you) but I still don’t get it”.
You can literally fuel an entire conversation with just mirrors if you want to.
Technique 2: Associate!
The other way you can cook with what someone gives you is through association.
Harry Mack is really great at this – when he takes word suggestions from the crowd (cooking with what they give him) he squeezes out EVERYTHING from that word. He’ll explore the related words and anything that comes to mind from that word.
You can do the same in conversation – if you’re struggling to come up with new shit to say, you can use association – “this reminds me of…”
You’re still using what they’ve given you to inspire what you want to say, you’re just going in a different direction with it.
2) Don’t Shoehorn Shit In
Whenever I’ve tried to prepare lines freestyling, it often doesn’t connect and feels forced. You need to build organically with the flow of what’s come before.
Same thing with conversations – it’ll feel clunky if you just randomly shoehorn a topic that isn’t relevant to what you were just talking about (unless it’s after a silence and the conversation thread has naturally come to an end).
You can have a direction/topic you want to go towards, but you have to build towards it in the present using what you have.
Build out the connection from where you’re currently at, to where you want to go.
3) Have Fun!
Conversation and freestyling are about being creative. Not worrying about saying the right thing, but just enjoying it, being present and letting your mind play.
Before I pull up to a social event/party, I usually freestyle to get my brain in a good flow state – this shit really helps!
That being said – I challenge you to try out freestyle rapping! Right now. Yes. Right now.
Just say words – it doesn’t have to rhyme. You can be bad – it’s okay, just try working on your skill of being quick on your feet.
I promise if you try freestyling, conversations will seem a million times easier by comparison. It’s like training with a weight vest on.
Just practice associating words and building the muscle in your mind to be quick on your feet. It WILL help you be better in conversation.
If you want to work on your conversational skills, freestyling, mindset, or self-improvement in general – I’m offering coaching services right now, so if you want to book a call with me, click here.